Right. Charge!

I decided I would show my children (ages 5 and 2) "Monty Python's Holy Grail."  Before you start slinging arrows at me, I did not show them the whole thing.  I showed them one specific scene.  Here's where it gets gross because I have boys.

We were in the car one day and Dominic let some gas go.  Cameron cracked up.  I said, "I fart in your general direction."  Dominic cracked up.  I said that's from one of my favorite movies.  So he said he wanted to see it.

I finally found the Holy Grail and put it in the DVD player.  As it was loading I was thinking about that scene and how funny I think it is.  I specifically was thinking about John Cleese and his "outrageous French accent."  I love that exchange of dialogue.  Who doesn't?  The dialogue is what I thought would make Dominic crack up.  I didn't know what Cameron would think.

We're watching this scene and Dom's kind of laughing. But what really makes him, and Cameron, crack up is a part I totally forgot about. It starts two minutes in:



The French soldiers start lobbing livestock at Arthur and his knights. A huge cow smashes one of them and then ducks and chickens and pigs and cats and more cows come flying out of the castle. Dom and Cam totally lost it. They were rolling on the floor. I took this video of them laughing the second time they watched it:



We watched that part at least five times. I laughed so hard.  I don't think I'd ever given a second thought to that part any other time I'd watched the Holy Grail.  Dominic and Cameron really helped me see beyond what I wanted to focus on and find a new joy in something I already loved.

Wearing a Pink Dress

My four-year-old son informed me the other day that he thought I should wear a pink dress.  The bright idea occurred to him after he saw that I was dressed in a skirt.  I rarely do wear a skirt and definitely never dresses.  It seems so impractical when you're always cleaning up ice cream or chasing after people with dirty diapers in your hands.  It's not really a fashion statement but rather a practicality statement.

Somewhere in all of this, my son got the message that girls wear dresses.  He told me this.  He said, "Girls wear dresses.  You should get a pink dress and then wear it."  I remember a long time ago I purchased a pink shirt to wear and when Dominic saw it he said, "It's a princess shirt!"  He was very excited to have me put it on only to have his face fall into disappointment upon seeing me wear it.  He pathetically uttered, "You don't look like a princess."  Can't say he's the first guy to ever say that to me...

How at the age of 4 has he already clearly gotten the message that girls wear pink and wear dresses?  I guess it just seeps in.  What encourages me about him, though, is that even though he knows girls wear dresses, and girls wear makeup, and girls are different than him he still respects them.  I know this because of the people he role models.  He loves to play make believe.  His two favorite characters to pretend to be are Velma, from Scooby Doo, and Margo, from "Despicable Me."   The reason he likes to be them is because they're clearly the smartest ones and clearly the ones in charge.  He doesn't care that they're girls.  He doesn't think that makes them any less than the guys.  All he sees is they're the ones figuring everything out and he wants to be that.

I love that about him.  I don't know if it's enough to get me into a pink dress, but it's enough to let me know that he's always going to respect women.  Either that or he's a control freak.  It's too soon to tell.

Sammy Bites the Big One

Well, Sammy is no more. He has gone on to the hereafter, hopefully jumping fences wherever he is. Arthur is a bit concerned and confused by this. He ran around for a few days looking over his shoulder a lot. Perhaps he thought we were going to take him away, too. Or it could be that Dominic is walking and that scares the bejeezes out of him.

Either way, we all miss Sammy.

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

I hate Florida for three reaons: 1. They have tornadoes 2. They have no basements 3. They don't believe in sirens. It is unconscionable that they have no warning system or shelter in place for their residents.

I woke up last night around 3:30 when Dominic woke up for a feeding. I brought him in to the bedroom and was feeding him when something about the weather made me uneasy. They had talked about the possiblity of tornadoes overnight, but we had gone to bed without a tornado watch being issued for our county. I was awake anyway, so I turned on the TV. I probably should've continued to sleep in ignorance.

Just west of us, 10 minutes away, was the hook echo on the radar. The meteorologist was hyperventilating talking about 100+ mile an hour winds. I tried to focus on what they were saying and realized it was the weather guy and not me that wasn't making any sense. I changed the channel and found out that a tornado warning had just been issued for our county. They then said the part of the storm with rotation was 10 minutes away from I-4 and US 44. That's like saying 13th and West Street. I woke up Brian and we both stared at the TV. What could we do?

Brian got the flashlight and we put on some shoes. The only place that made sense was the bathroom because we had heard something some time about the bathtub. It didn't really provide any comfort. We got in the tub with Dominic and Brian jokingly closed the curtains. Dominic tried to pull them down and Brian laughed. He said, "Dominic that's the only thing standing between us and the land of Oz."

We said a prayer and waited. I heard what sounded like a high pitch whistle and looked at Brian. He said it was the wind. :) It then got very very quiet. Not a drop of rain, no hail, nothing. And then the power went out. I'm sure it was only 30 seconds, but we sat there holding our breath. Brian turned on the flashlight, and a few seconds later the power came back on.

We looked at the time and it had been about 10 minutes since we got in the bathtub. Brian got out of the tub and turned the TV back on and saw that the storm had fallen apart, and moved on. While we were looking at the TV, Arthur came creeping out from under the bed. Something had spooked him enough to get under there. He was out running around with us before we went in the bathroom, and apparently dodged under there when we heard the whistle. We all managed to fall back asleep having dodged the bullet.

It was in the morning that we saw the damage all around us, the worst of it just a few blocks from our home. I find it ironic that my most intense tornado experience came not in Kansas, but in Florida. I think I want my ruby slippers.

He's Baaack!

Well, Sammy survived his trip into the wild. It was about 5am on Friday that he decided to return. And it is with the inflection of the Poltergeist child that I say, "He's back!" He is a nut case anyway, but the trip into the animal kingdom seems to have done him in. If you thought he whined before, wait til you hear him now.

"A bear attacked me and then I had to eat berries with a raccoon, and then these weird people stared at me."

He continues to tell us the story every night, and if he keeps it up, he may just find himself wandering back into the wild again.

I'm Out There And I'm Loving Every Minute Of It

Sammy was seen at 4am Eastern Standard Time the first night after his disappearance. I got up to go feed Arthur who kept scratching the bed. Perhaps Arthur was doing this because he saw Sammy. Anyway, I saw Sammy scurry down the driveway of the house across the street so I told Brian and he watched me cross the street looking for Sammy.

It's very hard to call for a cat at 4am, in your pajamas, while trying to whisper so the pitbull in the neighbor's yard doesn't wake up and attack you. Needless to say, Sammy didn't not return when called. We'll see what happens next. It's supposed to rain all day tomorrow. I'm sure Sammy's out there loving every minute of it.

The Great Escape

It wasn't exactly the smoothest of escapes. A loud crash in the middle of the night woke up the entire household (except the four-month-old who would later awaken when his mother sighed too loudly). Having no desire to check out the loud noise, and not hearing a sound from the baby, the parents continued to sleep through the night.

It was in the morning that the cell was found to be empty. As Brian entered the bathroom he noticed the screen was missing from the window. His drowsy state allowed him to contemplate that this was unusual, but it took a moment for the realization to kick-in that it meant much more. Fatty had escaped and taken Slim Shady with him.

It wasn't a brilliant scheme. Sammy merely leaned against the screen and his heavy weight caused it to collapse. One can only imagine the expression on his face as he fell towards the ground and freedom. It must have been with great curiosity that Arthur raced to the window only to peer down and see a big pile of fluff.

I imagine at that point in time two thoughts occurred to Arthur: Fatty has finally gone and done something right, and here's my chance to get rid of him!

Here's what we know for sure. After Brian rubbed the sleep out of his eyes he went out of the house and in to the backyard. The screen was on the ground and no cats were around. He exited the gate in the backyard and went into the front. That's where he found Arthur taking a leisurely stroll up the driveway. He had clearly been in the bushes and been rummaging around. He sprinted for the garage upon seeing Brian and soon was in the house acting as if nothing had happened. Sammy has not been seen since.

We're not sure what part Sammy's stupidity played in his disappearance. Or was it all an evil plot by Arthur, having learned from Barkely how to get rid of a family pet while staying in Wichita? We'll never know. Let's hope Sammy has found a nice home and if not, that he returns home soon. I prefer to think he's out there somewhere practicing climbing fences.