Not So Much

So these two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders walk into a bar. Stop me if you've heard it. We all know what guys hope happened next. We know what the cheers want you to think happened next (think Playboy deal even though they deny the incident). And yes, for once, two cheerleaders got it on together. Girl on girl. In a bathroom! Personally, should I ever choose to have sex in public I don't think the nearest stall would be my choice. However, on further investigation, I now realize I have some expertise and additional background to help shed light on this story.

I have been in the restaurant where it happened and I have in fact used said restroom in said restaurant. I was dining at the particular establishment with my friends in Tampa when I felt the need to excuse myself. When I made it to the ladies room, there were two women already in there. Apparently, this is a trend that does not limit itself to gossip anymore. However, I was unaware of the new restroom rules and did not return to my table to get my friend (who was there with her young daughter and husband - whose husband probably would not have minded if I had brought her into the restroom to experience new rules). These women eventually left and I was able to use the restroom as any normal person would.

As restrooms go, it was not great. It had a strange odor and the doors didn't lock as well as one might hope. However, there was a lovely mirror and the sinks were fairly clean. Still, I certainly did not feel "in the mood" just by having stepped into the restroom. It was upon hearing the story in later weeks of the cheerleaders that I re-examined my memories of the restroom. Could I easily put both arms out without hitting the walls? Did it feel cramped? Was I loath to let my purse touch any area of the stall? I have come to the conclusion that they may have been trying to have sex, but it was probably an adventure fraught with peril. It is perhaps their good fortune to have been so rudely interrupted as they would have ultimately realized said bathroom provides not so much room.

Having reflected on my time in the infamous restroom I feel I can confidently rate it as a fine place to use properly, but any other use, perhaps not so much.